Monday, August 23, 2010

Some Things Never Change....Part 2

Remember the girl I wrote about in my last post? The one who I had the hard time with in Las Vegas?

Well, after a week of her snark-bombing me on other people's Facebook statuses without speaking to me directly, I sent her a FB message and told her if she is angry at me to either call me or message me about it.

After telling me she was on her way to Disneyland and had no time to respond to me, she let loose with a litany of complaints about my behavior on the Vegas weekend. It was crazy stuff, most of it misinterpretations of my actions and some of it was entirely fictional. By misinterpretations, I mean things like accusing me of insulting our whole group by stepping out of a club for 5 minutes for some air. Mind you, I told everyone exactly what I was doing, so it wasn't like I disappeared. She was also upset that I went inside after an hour out by the pool. Keep in mind that I burn like a lobster in about 20 minutes. She's taken trips with me before, so she knows my pool-endurance is short. And there was something about me only ordering one drink when everyone else had two. By fiction, I mean her issue with a "miserable look" on my face, when in fact I was people-watching at a bar and not thinking about my facial expression at all. And apparently the worst infraction was walking into a room and asking if they were talking about me. I don't remember this, but whatever. Many similar sins followed.

So, because this was all via messages, I tried to take her issues one by one and explain that what she thought she saw wasn't what happened at all, and that I meant no offense at any time. I told her to call me to discuss, and wished her a good time at Disneyland. Two minutes later, I had another message from her elaborating on how I'd ruined her weekend and everyone else's and that I should stop blaming her. What?

I tried again to calm her down and apologized. My theory is that in such emotional situations, someone has to take one for the team. I have no problem with apologizing to keep the peace. I know the truth. She came back with a message that it wasn't about apologies and that I should stop blaming her. Again...what?

So, I asked what the solution was. She said the solution was to end it. End what? The discussion? The friendship? I let it go and figured she needed time to cool down from whatever frenzy she'd whipped herself into.

The next day, I got a message from one of the other girls who was there over the weekend. Basically, it was a re-run of Disney Girl's complaints. I tried again to say it was all fabricated and that none of it actually happened the way it was being portrayed, but apparently my friends share a brain...actually, not "apparently." I've known this for a long time. Disney girl whispers in Other Girl's ear and her words come out Other Girl's mouth. I never saw it as a problem before, just a funny quirk. After a few more futile messages, I asked what their motivation was for such detailed examination of everything I said and did all weekend. Other Girl said I needed to stop creating drama because she didn't need it. My response was that I hadn't created the drama, but I was ending it.

Oh, and I got one more nasty-gram from Disney Girl today. Something about how she had been rational and I was insane. She made a few taunts and said she was cutting me off.

I may be starting the school year two friends short. Honestly, at this point, I don't care. I am an extremely loyal and good friend, but when someone attacks me about things that are in her own head, there's just no response. I have to say, though, I'm absolutely fascinated by this girl right now. She's like a textbook "mean girl" all grown up. I also sickly wonder if her fights with her husband are similar and how he deals with it. She seems to create a world of drama for her own entertainment and then blame others for doing it. I don't get it, but I really have no doubt she'll be making nice with me within a few months. We're scheduled to run a half-marathon together in October. Unless she talks someone else into doing it with her, I'll probably be getting a very sweet phone call in about six weeks. It really wouldn't surprise me.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! How terrible. It sounds like it got a lot more serious than I expected. How did your other friends react to this?

    I think the severest issues are that your former friend held on to her bitterness, and she's badmouthing you to others. No matter if she was justified in her interpretations, which you say she is not, she had no reason to not address them with you earlier. Instead, she let her bad feelings fester, and even gossiped about you on Facebook. How juvenile! If she had an issue, she should have said something to you right when it occurred, or soon after.

    I get really annoyed when people hold on to things they find "offensive," only to wait and wait until they have a laundry list and then finally blow up on you. If a person is unaware of a problem, chances are that they can do little to fix it. Speak up! Trivial matters have broken up your friendships, and that's really sad.